The “game” played in public here–on the street, in cafes, and at most social events–is calm, cool and collected. Very English, I would imagine. I like it, but, I must say, I have gone another way (New Orleans: let ‘er rip style). But, so as not to confuse people here (or anywhere I go) I will do my best to play their game. It’s nice (“Be nice. Everyone’s having a hard time.”), and it allows me to observe and not be the center of attention myself.
Fun with Phil Hoem last night: we went to Monday Movie Night and saw Beasts of the Southern Wild. A low-budget movie made by a bunch of amateurs, and it’s wonderful!
I posted this on Facebook today:
I have the distinct feeling that the very English (I imagine) Canadians see me as a degenerate. They are such nice people. And quite reserved and polite and peaceful. “Civilized.” I have followed such a different path! I am being quiet and imitating (very Aspie behavior) their collective public/social persona: respect others by being honorable (follow the law) and peaceful (stay calm at all costs). Can’t hurt.
I can’t exaggerate the difference between this culture and Mexican (and other) cultures. Nevertheless, the social class differences have their huge influences wherever I go. And here it’s all so correctly middle class. What are the lower and higher (economically) classes like here? Do these social class differences carry through all over the world? (Note: I am still working on this idea; it’s not clear here in my writing or in my head.)
Saw “The Weeping Camel” last night. Made in 2004. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen.
Material World is a book at Laura’s which shows one middle class family and all their possessions from a whole bunch of countries around the world. My favorite: Kurdistan. (Is that it? Damn! it’s one of those countries that came out of the Russia breakup). They had mostly carpets!
Had a delicious coconut curry soup for dinner last night. Laura treated me to dinner. We also went to Value Village thrift shop yesterday, and I got my first pair of jeans for years. They are actually comfortable. I also got a men’s flannel shirt and a warmer jacket for going up north.
The planes to and from Inuvik will cost $300 so I think I won’t do it. Plus the Couchsurfing host I was hoping to stay with isn’t really available. Maybe I’ll come back through Canada (after Alaska) and go up to the Arctic Circle (Inuvik) then.
I posted this on Facebook today:
OK. I’ve had just about enough of these quiet, polite, very English, middle class, Border Canadians here in Victoria! Their reserve is killing me! It’s the antithesis of New Orleans, Jamaica, South America, Panama and Mexico. I feel strange in this little cafe, having my morning green tea and scone, because everyone is so careful, highly disciplined, and restrained. Nothing “inappropriate” is allowed! Sounds good on paper; in real life, NO. The song on the radio is “No Love Without Freedom.”
The song on the cafe radio now is about: “Swing your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.” The morning cafe sitters don’t seem to object, but it certainly doesn’t go with the, dare I say, repressed atmosphere. Are they blushing? Pretending not to hear? Or do they simply accept this sexy song, as well as their own unusually rigid behavior, as comfortably, unremarkably normal?
The western Border Canadians are subdued, safe (I feel very safe here) and, as my friend, Laura (who lives in Canada now) told me: they believe in organization and strong government. I must admit that I feel very comfortable in many ways among these people. An element is lacking for me, too, and that element is wildness, spontaneity, and passion. The Southern cultures are so expressive and dramatic! I would miss that here.
Three topics Laura and I discussed this morning:
-what is it? It’s being able to be “transparent” and reveal yourself to others. Like, not just telling people about all the good things in your life, but the bad, too. Being vulnerable, yet feeling safe doing so.
-let him know that Megan’s abuse is NOT ABOUT HIM. It’s Meg’s problem. She is unhappy/ashamed/guilty/or something, and she projects (see below) this onto him. Laura said I can even talk to Sam about this with Megan there by not making it about Megan. For example, I can ask Sam about bullies at school; or I can talk about (or invent) something about myself where I was bullied; or I can make up a story about anyone and how they dealt with bullying (by not taking it personally).
-we all do it. It’s just being human to project what’s in oneself out onto the world/others. Some of us (me, Noelle) also blame everything on ourselves. We beat ourselves up, and sometimes we (try to) commit suicide. But even those of us who do that also project out onto the world and other people. Nothing we do is totally objective; no communication is free of projection (even silence or non-communication). It’s all about ME, and this is true of everyone.
Two things from the May 2013 GRASP newsletter:
Keep life weird. (From Two Pleas For Sanity in Judging Sameness by Dwight Garner)
If we can’t get away from social rejection, we get aggressive. It’s the old “your best defense is a good offense” plan. What looks like an angry outburst or a zero-to-sixty temper may actually be a protective reflex built upon emotional scars and real insecurities. Heightened memories of past threats will increase the wish to disappear, hide, avoid the conversation, or just flat out quit (flight). Those same memories—of feeling like a failure, unwanted, or hurt—also make us quicker to anger, and with greater intensity. That’s our shield. We are trying to immediately stop what feels like a threat. (from Green Shirts and Unlikely Heroes by Jennifer O’Toole [from Autism Asperger’s Digest])
My two visions from the Ayahuasca journey I took in Cumana, Venezuela at the beginning of this year are becoming more and more meaningful to me as time goes by. I am remembering now the bubbles vision. Everything that is bubble-like (spacey, floaty, light and pretty, fun, drifting silently, sensitive, gentle, fragile, and so forth) is very meaningful to me.
When Megan and I were online together on a Susun Weed group, Meg chose the name “Fluffy Bubble.” I love that. My name was “Bunny Blissfully.” Bubbly. Where do bubbles come from?
Definition of BUBBLE
a : a small body of gas within a liquid
b : a thin film of liquid inflated with air or gas
c : a globule in a transparent solid
d : something (as a plastic or inflatable structure) that is hemispherical or semicylindrical
a : something that lacks firmness, solidity, or reality
- Liquid bubble, a globule of one substance in another, usually gas in a liquid
- Soap bubble, a bubble formed by soapy water (a thin film of liquid)
- Antibubble, a droplet of liquid surrounded by a thin film of gas
A soap bubble is an extremely thin film of soapy water enclosing air that forms a hollow sphere with an iridescent surface. Soap bubbles usually last for only a few seconds before bursting, either on their own or on contact with another object. They are often used for children’s enjoyment, but they are also used in artistic performances. Assembling several bubbles results in a foam.
Soap Bubble in Mathematics
Soap bubbles are physical examples of the complex mathematical problem of minimal surface. They will assume the shape of least surface area possible containing a given volume. A true minimal surface is more properly illustrated by a soap film, which has equal pressure on inside as outside, hence is a surface with zero mean curvature. A soap bubble is a closed soap film: due to the difference in outside and inside pressure, it is a surface of constant mean curvature.
While it has been known since 1884 that a spherical soap bubble is the least-area way of enclosing a given volume of air (a theorem of H. A. Schwarz), it was not until 2000 that it was proven that two merged soap bubbles provide the optimum way of enclosing two given volumes of air of different size with the least surface area. This has been dubbed the Double Bubble conjecture.
Watched “Long Island Medium” TV show yesterday with Laura. Wonderful!! I love this kind of show, and I believe 100% in mediums like Theresa Caputo.