June 28, 2013

June 27

At Chris’ house in Fairbanks. He has an uncanny connection with silence: like a yogi. We share the same birthday (but he was born in 1987). I got a wonderful HOT shower (a luxury in this hard-scrabble town).

I am getting used to all ways of living… in small doses. At a previous host’s house, the dogs spend their days outside in the dirt and their nights on the couch. I kicked them off the couch for two nights and slept well. I grew increasingly comfortable–as were my sweet hosts–with that outdoorsy style of living. I felt immune to and unaffected by the tiny, harmless bugs which began to share my body.

It was very hot yesterday when I arrived at Chris’ house, and I experienced the bugs as unwanted lodgers. Inthe  Chris’ rarified, intellectual atmosphere of Chris’ home, my discomfort grew acute, while at the previous hosts’ house, living with dogs and their attendant parasites felt normal and natural.

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Becoming a Healer

Requirements: patience. careful observation of people. understanding the search for love. sense of humor. self-love and care.

I know that everything I need will come to me; I only need to follow.

In An Unexpected Light (1999), Jason Elliot writes:

“…the moment you commit to a journey it takes on a unique life of its own, which no amount of agonizing in advance can foresee.”

I think it’s the same with healing as with travel. And, I guess, with life.

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My Questions:

Is being overly-polite unhealthy? It certainly seems (to us Aspies anyway) to be a form of lying. Surely not being “authentic” or true to oneself. What is the balance between politeness and authenticity?

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Fairbanks:

Fairbanks – 30,970 (Alaska’s 2nd largest city)
Fairbanks North Star Borough – 96,888
State of Alaska – 663,661 (42% reside in Anchorage)

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Anchorage:

A diverse wildlife population exists within urban Anchorage and the surrounding area. Approximately 250 black bears and 60 grizzly bears live in the area. Bears are regularly sighted within the city. Moose are a common sight. In the Anchorage Bowl, there is a summer population of approximately 250 moose, increasing to as many as 1000 during the winter. (~~Wikipedia)

Anchorage Municipality, Alaska

Want more? Browse data sets for Anchorage Municipality
People QuickFacts Anchorage Municipality Alaska
Population definition and source info Population, 2012 estimate 298,610 731,449
Population definition and source info Population, 2010 (April 1) estimates base 291,826 710,231
Population, percent change, April 1, 2010 to July 1 definition and source info Population, percent change, April 1, 2010 to July 1, 2012 2.3% 3.0%
Population definition and source info Population, 2010 291,826 710,231
Persons under 5 years, percent definition and source info Persons under 5 years, percent, 2011 7.5% 7.5%
Persons under 18 years, percent definition and source info Persons under 18 years, percent, 2011 25.7% 26.1%
Persons 65 years and over, percent definition and source info Persons 65 years and over, percent, 2011 7.6% 8.1%
Female persons, percent definition and source info Female persons, percent, 2011 49.3% 48.1%
White persons, percent definition and source info White persons, percent, 2011 (a) 67.6% 67.9%
Black persons, percent definition and source info Black persons, percent, 2011 (a) 5.9% 3.6%
American Indian and Alaska Native persons, percent definition and source info American Indian and Alaska Native persons, percent, 2011 (a) 8.2% 14.9%
Asian persons, percent definition and source info Asian persons, percent, 2011 (a) 8.4% 5.6%
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander persons, percent definition and source info Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander persons, percent, 2011 (a) 2.1% 1.1%
Persons reporting two or more races, percent definition and source info Persons reporting two or more races, percent, 2011 7.7% 7.0%
Persons of Hispanic or Latino Origin, percent definition and source info Persons of Hispanic or Latino Origin, percent, 2011 (b) 7.9% 5.8%
White persons not Hispanic, percent definition and source info White persons not Hispanic, percent, 2011 62.1% 63.7%
Living in same house 1 year & over, percent definition and source info Living in same house 1 year & over, percent, 2007-2011 77.9% 79.3%
Foreign born persons, percent definition and source info Foreign born persons, percent, 2007-2011 9.1% 6.9%
Language other than English spoken at home, percent age 5+ definition and source info Language other than English spoken at home, percent age 5+, 2007-2011 16.8% 16.2%
High school graduate or higher, percent of persons age 25+ definition and source info High school graduate or higher, percent of persons age 25+, 2007-2011 92.1% 91.4%
Bachelor Bachelor’s degree or higher, percent of persons age 25+, 2007-2011 32.3% 27.2%
Veterans definition and source info Veterans, 2007-2011 30,874 71,861
Mean travel time to work (minutes), workers age 16+ definition and source info Mean travel time to work (minutes), workers age 16+, 2007-2011 18.6 18.2
Housing units definition and source info Housing units, 2011 113,467 311,201
Homeownership rate definition and source info Homeownership rate, 2007-2011 61.4% 64.3%
Housing units in multi-unit structures, percent definition and source info Housing units in multi-unit structures, percent, 2007-2011 34.8% 24.4%
Median value of owner-occupied housing units definition and source info Median value of owner-occupied housing units, 2007-2011 $276,200 $235,100
Households definition and source info Households, 2007-2011 105,123 252,920
Persons per household definition and source info Persons per household, 2007-2011 2.66 2.67
Per capita money income in the past 12 months (2011 dollars) definition and source info Per capita money income in the past 12 months (2011 dollars), 2007-2011 $35,580 $31,944
Median household income definition and source info Median household income, 2007-2011 $75,485 $69,014
Persons below poverty level, percent definition and source info Persons below poverty level, percent, 2007-2011 7.8% 9.5%
Business QuickFacts Anchorage Municipality Alaska
Private nonfarm establishments definition and source info Private nonfarm establishments, 2011 8,428 20,1191
Private nonfarm employment definition and source info Private nonfarm employment, 2011 144,136 254,9961
Private nonfarm employment, percent change definition and source info Private nonfarm employment, percent change, 2010-2011 -0.6% 0.1%1
Nonemployer establishments definition and source info Nonemployer establishments, 2010 19,149 53,284
Total number of firms definition and source info Total number of firms, 2007 26,726 68,728
Black-owned firms, percent definition and source info Black-owned firms, percent, 2007 2.5% 1.5%
American Indian- and Alaska Native-owned firms, percent definition and source info American Indian- and Alaska Native-owned firms, percent, 2007 5.7% 10.0%
Asian-owned firms, percent definition and source info Asian-owned firms, percent, 2007 5.3% 3.1%
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander-owned firms, percent definition and source info Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander-owned firms, percent, 2007 S 0.3%
Hispanic-owned firms, percent definition and source info Hispanic-owned firms, percent, 2007 3.1% S
Women-owned firms, percent definition and source info Women-owned firms, percent, 2007 30.2% 25.9%
Manufacturers shipments definition and source info Manufacturers shipments, 2007 ($1000) D 8,204,030
Merchant wholesaler sales definition and source info Merchant wholesaler sales, 2007 ($1000) 2,914,025 4,563,605
Retail sales definition and source info Retail sales, 2007 ($1000) 4,482,714 9,303,387
Retail sales per capita definition and source info Retail sales per capita, 2007 $16,096 $13,635
Accommodation and food services sales definition and source info Accommodation and food services sales, 2007 ($1000) 933,301 1,851,293
Building permits definition and source info Building permits, 2012 532 9941
Geography QuickFacts Anchorage Municipality Alaska
Land area in square miles definition and source info Land area in square miles, 2010 1,704.68 570,640.95
Persons per square mile definition and source info Persons per square mile, 2010 171.2 1.2
Persons per square mile definition and source info FIPS Code 020 02
Persons per square mile definition and source info Metropolitan or Micropolitan Statistical Area Anchorage, AK Metro Area

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At Chris’ house. He played the piano for me this evening. Peaceful and beautiful. I am loving it here, and, interestingly enough, I find that people are welcoming me with open arms. And I am just really enjoying surfing here.

Is it the long, cold, lonely winter and now the amazing, remarkable hot weather (it was 90 F. today) that makes these folks so darn friendly and warm? Is it that I am getting used to surfing and enjoying it more? And being a better, more relaxed guest?

As I say to my hosts (and I make this very obvious in my Couchsurfing profile), when I’m at your house, I am home. I have no where to go back to. Of course, I do think of New Orleans as my home off the road, as the place I want to go to die (and live, when I am no longer travelling ALL the time).

For now, every house/apartment/trailer/etc. I go to is home. Wherever I hang my hat is home. Amazing! I NEVER in a million years thought I would live a wild, carefree, happy life like this. I am living my dream.

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Here’s what I wrote on Facebook today:

MONOGAMY DOES NOT WORK. Not exactly a news flash; we all know it’s a fact, and studies all over the world are proving this to be true. Having sex with just one person for your whole life? Many people–especially men–have affairs and they don’t talk about it (so it SEEMS like monogamy is working). Gay men are the most likely people to have sexual affairs outside of their primary relationships and to openly talk about it. They are honest about their needs. Can you be honest with yourself and with your partner about your needs? Have you repressed your needs because you think they are “wrong” or “bad”?

And another posting I made today:

Most societies provide innumerable opportunities for men (especially) to have secret sex. I know this for a fact because I was involved in providing some of those services. Ha ha. The partners of these men (and women) NEVER KNOW ABOUT IT.

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This blog is like an open journal. It’s my thoughts and feelings and ideas, etc. and I share them with others.

Yesterday I told my new Aspie friend, Heather, that I didn’t see her at River City Cafe because I don’t look around at people. I mentioned being an Aspie, and that’s when I found out she, too, is an Aspie. Then, Heather said something about how she was shy. I agreed that I am shy, too.

Later I realized that I’m not “shy.” That’s just a word I have learned to use so I don’t hurt others’ feelings with the REAL reason I don’t look  at people.  The real reason is that I don’t care about most of the people around me. Unless I am going to meet them or if someone looks/acts/talks in a particularly interesting way, I am not interested in them. Why should I be?

I am not playing the social games most NTs are playing. We are like creatures in an aquarium: the fish are not playing with the snails, are they? No. They don’t play in the same way, and they are probably not very, if at all, interested in each other. They don’t hate each other, but they don’t like each other much either.  Indifferent.

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Got up about 4 am (birds singing all night long! wonderful!). Meditated and did yoga and stretching.

I understand that “fertile Gaia = chaos.” Everyday, when I wake up, I throw down a handful of pick-up-sticks (metaphor) and create my day. Or I re-create the self (small “s”) I had yesterday (with all its attendant likes, dislikes, abilities, disabilities, etc.) and go from there.

Day time (waking life) is like a memory with surprises: I create each day, I build it, on what is left-over from yesterday. And so, predictably, within half a minute (or less) of waking up, the new day is stale, old, routine, stifling, dull, and oppressive. Its demands are frightful, and its repetitiveness is numbing.

Yet every day things happen that I don’t expect and could never have planned for. That’s what’s new, and that’s what makes life interesting. We don’t have to HOPE this will happen; it will always happen. That’s the nature of life: fertile and chaotic. Creation and destruction.

Dreams are so different from waking life. Last night one of my dreams was about two people with polka dot pants and explosions. Ha ha.

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