July 31, 2013

July 23

Saw two baby bunnies running around outside Darren’s yurt here in Homer this morning.

Realizing I don’t have to explain myself (as an Aspie, as anything) to anyone. I am ME, and that’s all I need. And it’s all anyone else needs to know.

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July 24

Keeping my mood positive as life swirls insanely around me. Not getting involved or struck down by others’ moods. I have to stay UP and positive and high and so forth. It helps me, and it helps others. Getting involved in others’ DOWN moods doesn’t help them or me.

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July 25

Another beautiful day after an evening full of good people, food and beer (etc.). Wonderful here.

Goya the big Persian Water Dog is the best, calmest dog I have ever spent time with. Love him!

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July 27

Someday I will find THE REAL THING, THE ONE.  The Divine Partner may be found in physical form (as Hindu or Buddhist text says). The Divine Marriage is a real thing and is not always or only with God.

Finding my One Love (my Eternal Flame) has nothing to do with “making it happen” or “working on it.” He either IS or it ISN’T The One.

I know this man from my inner world. I am always with him, but right now, in this life, we are separated. (Not sure why… There are many stories about how this separation of the Two That Are One came to be. One version says a curse was put on the lovers.)

It has nothing to do with looks, being “hot”(sexually or how good we are together sexually. It’s not anything you can “fix” or make happen. It is or it isn’t. He just either is the ONE or he isn’t.

It’s never a question of “what can I do to MAKE him be mine or to make him The One?”

He either IS or ISN’T The One. You don’t “create” this kind of love.

Your Eternal soulmate is ONE person, one being, one spirit WHO IS literally YOUR OTHER HALF. He (or she) is not interchangeable. There’s only one of him.

He and I have never been apart. We were always together and always will be together. Only this ONE spirit is my other half. There aren’t a few or many spirits who can be my other half. There is only ONE.

This is not a concept I made up. It’s not only written in religious texts, but it’s also being written about today by famous people like Deepak Chopra.

You can’t make this happen. You can only tell if it’s real by consulting your inner world and being patient. This relationship exists in all worlds, in all dimensions. I ask myself:  is this (whomever) person the same one who I know to be my one-and-only in my dreams and mystical experiences? Is this the same person with whom I spend lots of time in my inner world?

It’s not about hoping and wishing… It’s just about finding Him, my One and Only.

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Some people are insensitive, either because as kids they were badly hurt by trusted caregivers. Now they can’t recover enough to dare to trust others. Or because they aren’t evolved enough to be truly aware of others. They are lonely people because they think they are all alone. They haven’t yet realized that others are real.

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July 29

Left Homer and came up to Kenai.

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July 30

Wonderful night in Soldotna: dinner with Miriam and Dave and their kids. Then, Paul Knight came over to pick me up and had brownies and ice cream with us all. Such divine new friends.

Be gentle. Don’t show off; SHOW. Leos (I have Leo rising) are supposed to reflect people back to themselves but in a new way.

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More Notes on True Love, One Love:

You recognize your True Love; you don’t create him/her. He isn’t

He is my foundation stone, the basis of everything. I found my existence on him, on our union. I am my ONE; my spirit is me. But with my True Love, I am complete.

Some things in life basic necessities. That’s how it is with my True Love: he is that for/to me. There is life on the surface, and there is the underpinnings of that surface life. That is who he is to me: the underpinnings, the roots.

The main stage in a True Love “affair” is not sex. Maybe when my True Love is flirting with others and having sex with others, I should imagine that he is showing me his sexuality.

Love and sweetness is good in a True Love affair. But every personal truth has to come out. This is an authentic, THE authentic relationship, so ALL the emotions will come out in the course of your love. Just try to be gentle, apologize when it’s the right thing to do, and keep the big picture in mind.

My True Love is in the background, in the shadows. I am in the forefront of my consciousness.

I realize that I can love someone THAT MUCH. That I can miss someone when they’re gone and be wildly happy when they return. All the while maintaining Buddhist detachment of course.

The person who is my True Love has that extra something. The magic. He stirs all my past life memories of my man, my husband, my lover, etc. It’s him.

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Help other people see/know that they sound like a symphony.

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July 31

I am constantly reminded these days of how much older and wiser I am than these young, clueless dickheads in their 20s. They have so much to learn, and some of them will rise to the challenge.

My current CS host is not comfortable with anyone in their little apartment when they are not there. Ugh! Oh, well. I am just sitting around from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm. It certainly could be worse. I am happy here at Kaladi Coffee on 6ht Ave. and G Street in downtown Anchorage. Just fiddling away online all day. As I say, it certainly could be much, much worse.

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